It is no secret that we are all influenced by the people we choose (or sometimes don’t choose) to have in our lives. That is by essence the very definition of peer pressure; the influence from members of one’s peer group. Sadly for today, we are all living in a very scary and unpredictable time- under ONE ROOF. Our food choices, sleep patterns, and overall energy level is constantly subject to the whims and patterns created by those around us. For example, today I pushed myself to go out for a run in the rain, followed up by eggs and coffee for breakfast. My teenage children got up the afternoon and wanted pancakes- with chocolate chips no less. It took tremendous headspace to stick to my plan and not allow myself to slide. Today, I was successful in that endeavour. Tomorrow, there is no guarantee.
As my practice has moved to video sessions over the last month, I have been able to get a very special look into the home lives of my clients that might not have been so evident previously. Fights in the backgrounds, interruptions by siblings or parents, visuals of pantries while creating food plans to name a few. What has been clear to me is that even the best-laid plans can be derailed when the support system around you is not on board. Meals have been changed last minute, exercise partners have gotten lazy, and lack of overall privacy has elevated stress levels tremendously.
SO WHAT CAN WE DO?
- First and foremost as the serenity prayer so eloquently states; “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change”. We cannot control anyone else around us, as much as we sometimes so desperately want to. What we can do is learn to take stock within ourselves and the decisions we get to make on a day to day basis. If someone around you has stayed in the same pajamas for weeks on end, binge-watching television and making poor food choices- then let them be. Use them as a mental example of what you feel doesn’t work for you. It can be a daily motivation for you to remember how you do not want to feel.
- Try to set boundaries for yourself. Trying to make a healthy snack choice, in a cupboard filled with items that can be highly sabotaging is difficult. We need to accept that we cannot control everyone else’s food choices- but we can help to control ours. Choose a space in the pantry that is all for you. Leave yourself some really great choices- sweet, salty, crunchy. If you have the self-discipline to take it up a notch, then pre-portion some Ziploc bags with serving size amounts so you do not put yourself in a situation that might lead you to overeat. Do not skimp- choose snacks that you would gladly serve to company or best friends when they are over your home. You deserve the same treatment.
- Finally, remember if you are standing on a bridge and one foot comes off, doesn’t mean you may as well take the other one off. One or two wrong choices shouldn’t be cause to throw in the towel. The momentum of a day can be changed at any point- even if it’s almost nighttime. One minute at a time.
Dalia Abott, LMSW RD is a Registered Dietitian and Social Worker with a private practice in Woodmere. She specializes in adolescent and family therapy with a focus on Eating Disorders, Body Image and Self-Esteem. She can be reached at (718) 490-9232 or DaliaKAbott@gmail.com.